Thursday, May 3, 2012

zu Hause

The four of us walked and I remember the Cricket saying, "I keep forgetting you guys know your way around here." If you rubbed your fingers across a toy from your childhood, one you found in a box full of items that are only unified by their ancient importance, you might notice that the process of re-connecting is a surprising one. It's like an old home. On one hand, you know the terrain. You know the curves, the people, the places involved. You know what it felt like, there aren't any surprises now. On the other, it's still an exciting exploration to return and remember, holding close everything you've felt, everything you've learned in the time between.

While they were here, Jeff and Jo were thousands of miles from where they sleep, the Cricket and I, maybe a few hundred. Still, walking around Heidelberg and then Berlin, home and those that make it such, was the theme to our step. We made our way back to Berlin for a few days before they would leave. I was proud and happy to show them our new life and apartment. We skated at Friedrichshain on Monday. Home is not always a structure, it can be a color, a smell, an activity. The fluorescent tubes, light brown masonite while skating against ourselves with the nervous and soft worry of life on our backs; felt familiar.

 Around my sixteenth birthday Jeff took me to a store that had a mini-ramp in the valley. We had no intention of buying anything and unapologetically stayed all day slamming hard. Nearing 15 years now, I'm still slamming hard, and really not much better, the only difference is apparent in the amount of ibuprofen the next day. I've wanted to skate over the door since I moved to Berlin, but really didn't think it would happen. 10 minutes before closing time we both rolled over the top. Anyone who skates knows that it's not anything impressive, but anyone who skates knows it is never how good you are, it's how nice it feels to do something you're scared of.

 It's been hard to start life over in a new city, but if home has the intrinsic power I'm banking on, I think we will be ok.

No comments: